50p
Junior Boys Soccer 1
The 20th century prophet Meat Loaf once sagely observed, “I want you. I need you. But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you, but don’t feel sad: for two out of three ain’t bad.” This year’s Junior Boys squad can boast of two trophies, and one empty, dusty void, both in our trophy case, and in our hearts.
Let’s start with the first title: the Mid-Island League. Reader, we own this league. We have the receipt. We pay taxes on it. Kelsey? No. Gulf Islands? Nope. Shawnigan Lake? Please.
Stiffer competition awaited us at the ISA Championship tournament in Vancouver, but, again, when the whistle blew, there was Brentwood draped in silverware, fame, fortune, and women. St. George’s may import Argentinians, SMUS may make Faustian bargains, but Brentwood wins back-to-back ISA titles.
And then came the Islands. Keeper Dylan G covered himself with honey, despite his bee allergy, so he would be extra adhesive; in retrospect, this was a poor coaching directive. Avik B, Oscar L, Nicolas E, Davis P and Tommy M all stole their older brothers’ lucky shin-pads. Ignacio DLIR sent an urgent telegram home, requesting an emergency extra middle name. Youki did nothing differently; Youki does not need to do anything differently.
For a couple of minutes, we were a post and a goalmouth scramble from the Island final and eternal glory, but it was not to be. We ended up 5th on the Island: the women left us (last seen flirting with the older brothers), Ignacio was sent home in disgrace, Youki’s parents disowned him and adopted Bung P, and Coach Barrett was, of course, fired.
Meat Loaf reminds us that there ain’t no coupe de ville lying in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box, but these Junior Boys, if not treasure, were a treat.
Mr Paul Collis
Let’s start with the first title: the Mid-Island League. Reader, we own this league. We have the receipt. We pay taxes on it. Kelsey? No. Gulf Islands? Nope. Shawnigan Lake? Please.
Stiffer competition awaited us at the ISA Championship tournament in Vancouver, but, again, when the whistle blew, there was Brentwood draped in silverware, fame, fortune, and women. St. George’s may import Argentinians, SMUS may make Faustian bargains, but Brentwood wins back-to-back ISA titles.
And then came the Islands. Keeper Dylan G covered himself with honey, despite his bee allergy, so he would be extra adhesive; in retrospect, this was a poor coaching directive. Avik B, Oscar L, Nicolas E, Davis P and Tommy M all stole their older brothers’ lucky shin-pads. Ignacio DLIR sent an urgent telegram home, requesting an emergency extra middle name. Youki did nothing differently; Youki does not need to do anything differently.
For a couple of minutes, we were a post and a goalmouth scramble from the Island final and eternal glory, but it was not to be. We ended up 5th on the Island: the women left us (last seen flirting with the older brothers), Ignacio was sent home in disgrace, Youki’s parents disowned him and adopted Bung P, and Coach Barrett was, of course, fired.
Meat Loaf reminds us that there ain’t no coupe de ville lying in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box, but these Junior Boys, if not treasure, were a treat.
Mr Paul Collis